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I need my friends. I need your hugs.

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 2, 2012, 8:44 PM
A few days ago, I had to color my hair from cotton candy pink and purple to plain jane brown for a job interview. I changed it because I didn't want to ruin my chances of getting the job, because we all know vibrant colors are not normally seen in the work place. Especially for hotels.

Anyway, it really devastated me. I loved my hair. I felt complete with it. I finally had my hair exactly how I liked it. But that's not the worst part. My aunt decided to fill me in on her point of view. On a picture of my new hair on facebook, she says "FINALLY, you're back to your God given hair color". Now, I'm Christian. So that part didn't offend me. It was the fact that she completely ignored that I regretted changing my hair, and I didn't want to do it. So of course I deleted it and tried to forget about it and just ignore it ever happened.

Then I posted a picture of me in a lolita outfit with my brown hair, and she comments saying "You look so beautiful in your God given hair color, and you do look adorable, but you're embarrassing yourself." HOW AM I EMBARRASSING MYSELF? By dressing how I want to and feeling comfortable in it? Before her, I didn't care about what others thought about me. But she's my family. It's different and it hurts.

So I posted a rage status update. Probably not the best idea, but it made me feel better. Here's what I wrote:

"I am who I am because God made me this way. He made me to change and challenge the things around me and the things about me. I'm all for keeping the body clean and a temple for Christ, so I don't do tattoos or face piercings. But to start talking to me about my hair... you better be prepared for a good lecture. Hair grows out. It is already dead once passed the skin. Therefore, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE IT TO WHATEVER COLOR I WANT TO REGARDLESS OF MY RELIGION. God made me with brown hair and I should keep it that way? NO. God made me with strong healthy hair so I can express how happy I am by coloring my hair pink and colorful so others will see I'm not afraid to EXPRESS MYSELF, FOR OTHERS TO SEE WHO I AM INSIDE AND OUT. One more comment like this and you're deleted. For everyone else, thank you for the lovely comments on my new UNWANTED hair color, and for helping me get over how dull I feel with it. You all make me feel special. ♥"

Now, she didn't post on the status, but she sent me a message. A long message. And I'll only post part of it, because it involves other family members, etc. I'll just post the important part. But here's what she messages me:

"Hello Dana, did I upset you with my comment about your natural hair color? The thing is, I don't like the "unnatural" look. When I see the pink and purple it makes me think that you are trying to imitate a cup cake.---- You may see it as "young" and exciting, but only the young are really into it. Sorry, I am 65 and I have always seen purple as a bad dye job. I love you just the same. I notice you deleted my comment.----It is best to tell you the truth, and not lie about it. God gave you brown hair. I prefer His design. Many years ago a minister told us that girls who create bold statements with their hair and clothing are crying out for attention because they feel inadequate and undesireable. You don't have to look like a cup cake or a Japanese doll to have value. I hope you don't go back to the childish things, but that is not going to keep you out of Heaven. I am thankful that the Lord loves us for what is inside and not what is on the outside."

So apparently dressing up in Lolita fashion is a sin. Dressing up with your friends and enjoying part of the Japanese culture and coloring your hair pink and purple is a sin. Now I love my aunt, and I respect the fact that she was raised a certain way, but to take it that far and try to change me... when I did nothing wrong in the first place... How is that supposed to make me feel?

I'm really hurt, and it makes me very upset that those words came from my own family member. I guess I never thought I would be attacked because I dressed in Lolita. I never really thought that it would be from a family member, because I've done weird stuff in the past and none of them ever gave me flack about it... I feel like crying and hiding under a rock. I just really need some moral support right now.

You always read blogs and posts about how the Lolita community always gets pinned for being bad... I just never thought I would be put through that...

I need my friends....

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:icondarksaph:
DarkSaph Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012
:aawplz:
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:icondarksaph:
DarkSaph Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012
:iconaawplz:
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:iconszuzka:
Szuzka Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012
:hug: ! That is really sad :( Did you talk with your mom or dad about it?
Why should God be angry if you dress as Lolita? I never heard that before :O
Dying your hair is fine too, why should God love you less?
If you had gone and got plastics surgery then I could understand your aunt but you didnīt do anything lasting. She needs to relax.
I think though natural haircolour suit the colour scheme of a person best, for example I would look like a vampire with black hair for I am so pale but I still bleach my hair lighter and once I had a bit of pink in it, whatīs wrong about that? You are lucky you have healthy fast growing hair so no worries about ruining it!
You can dye it any colour you want, you didnīt shave your head bald.
My family was rather intollerant when I decided to be a vegetarian, all except mama. I was 13 when I stopped eating meat altogether, I just love animals way too much. My dad and brothers started discussions with me and stuff but mama let me eat what I wanted. My grandma and aunt didnīt get it at all and grandma blamed my mother(!) that itīs her fault and that she has to force me to eat meat. It took years til my family accepted it. Now I am 27, still vegetarian, and was actually told by a doctor that due to my sickness it is a good thing I do not eat meat!

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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Wow, that's great that you made that change in your diet so early in life. I love animals too. I can't ever eat anything that I have ever had as a pet: rabbits, frogs, etc. I don't eat cow because there are so many health concerns with that.. a cow is supposed to eat grass, but they feed them corn because it's cheaper but it ends up ruining the cow's inner system and we digest a lot of the stuff their bodies would get rid of if they just ate grass. I only eat fish and chicken.
I did talk to my mother. She's so very supportive of me. When I lived under her roof, I had to obey her and I wasn't allowed to cut my hair or color it funky colors because I attended a Christian school and they didn't allow it anyway. Now that I'm older, age 23, she lets me do whatever I want because she knows she raised me right and I would never do anything to hurt myself or anyone else. I'm just expressing myself. So she gave my aunt a good earful. Hahaha! I love her so much. I think things are starting to die down now, but it was getting pretty hairy. My aunt was going after my husband, my mother, my father and my cousins and brothers through email trying to get me to apologize to her. Sigh. But they all ignored her. She's making it so difficult for herself. But I hope everything is starting to settle down now.
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:iconbubblecafe:
BubbleCafe Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
*hugs* Firstly, I'm really sorry that you're having to go through all of this regarding your aunt. I think she believes that she is trying to guide you, since she is older with "much more experience" (as they say) but it really doesn't excuse her attitude. In my honest opinion, what she said had less to do with holding on to Christian values and more about trying to mold you into someone else out of personal taste. I am also Christian, but the thing I believe in first and foremost is that God loves everybody at the end of the day. Whether you have brown hair, pink hair, blue hair, leopard-print hair... He still loves you. He gave you that hair to do whatever you want with it! What you choose to do with your image will never change that. There's no "truth" in her opinion, it really bothers me that she tries to pass it off as fact or something.

tl;dr- Your aunt is forcing her own personal opinions on you and using the Lord as her excuse, to be perfectly blunt. That is bull, and I really do hope you don't let her words stop you from being the fun, creative Dana we all know and love.
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
It's gotten worse... Sure, I decided I could shrug it off and just have her not be my friend on facebook so she can't see my pictures, etc... but she has decided to send my mother, my husband, and her son emails about what I'm doing is bad and that I need to apologize. So now I can't just ignore it anymore, because I am being bombarded with all of her harassment through my family members. I am just so sick of it... I don't know what to do....

I do want to have fun... but at what cost?
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:iconmaddie-pie:
Maddie-Pie Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
Aww Dana! :tighthug:
Your hair colour is just a think that makes you unique! God made us all different!
I think it's so inspiring that you dress up and dye your hair the way you want because that's what I hope to do one day, in the maybe not so distant future.

Don't be afraid to be you ♥
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thank you, Maddie. I really do appreciate it. It's gotten harder with her now... since I have blocked her on facebook, (so she doesn't have to see the way that I live) she has decided to go through my mother, my husband and her own son to try to make me apologize. I feel like I am being harassed and I just don't know what to do. I just want to crawl under a rock and cry. I just feel so alone...
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:iconuntitledjoy:
UntitledJoy Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I'm sorry that your aunt is acting like it. :/
God made you with brown hair, and gives you the right to CHANGE IT. As long as your happy, thats all that matters.
And I dont think that is for attention. It just how you want to look. Lolita fashion is very cute, and thats just your style.
My mom criticizes me all the time for my sense of fashion. =__=
I prefer oversized sweaters and jeans than a skirt and fancy blouse. She thinks I'm trying to act like a boy, but I just like the way it looks.
Don't try to let her gt to you, and just keep doing what makes you happy.
Your old enough now to make your own decisions. <3
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Oversized hoodies were the best feeling when I was in high school... they were so comfy and they felt like a blanket I could wear anywhere. Ah~~ I kinda miss wearing them now that I'm thinking about it. xD
Thank you, dear. It's so good to have sweet people like you to talk to and make me feel better. :iconsweethugplz:
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:iconuntitledjoy:
UntitledJoy Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
EXACTLY! I dont see what my mom has against something so comfy.. xD
And anytime Dana!~ <333
Everyone's got your back~ :iconbrohugplz:
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:iconspiderrabbit:
SpiderRabbit Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
I'm so sorry to hear that :-( I dont see why alot of people think that we are "crying out for attention" if we dress that way!! I for one know how you feel!!
for ME, I HATE being center of attention, so its NOt for attention I look the way I look because I feel better about myself this way, I feel in complete without the things i have. I've even cryed over it befor.

so i know how you feel, and im sorry you had to change your hair! I havent even been ABLE to change my hair, sense Ive had to keep it normal for jobs (even though no matter how hard i look im not etting hired), but OH I want to soooo bad, and I envy everyone who can! <3

*BIIIIGGGGG HUGS*
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
*big hugs* Thank you so much, sweetie. QuQ
I'm 23, and she just doesn't see that I am old enough to know what is best for me..
Since I have blocked her on facebook, she has gone through my husband, her son(my cousin), and my mother to try to make me apologize. I feel like I'm being trolled and harassed by her and I just can't get away from her. I just don't know what to do. It seems like no matter what I do, it's going to tear my family apart and I just can't take it.
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:iconspiderrabbit:
SpiderRabbit Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
I'm 22 ^_^ very close in age! <3
omg wow, thats crazy!! I dont think you need to apologize for ANYTHING!!
I understand she is alot older and she thinks VERY differant, but at the same time she shouldnt go around to everyone you know to try and get to you. That is very childish, does she realize that? Shes being the kid here, not you.
I try my hardest to ignore all people like that. Its hard, but thats all you can do sometimes, even if they are family. Does anyone else have a problem with you blocking her??
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
My mother always told me to ignore people that have beef with me. So I did just that and didn't open my mouth. So no, no one has a problem with me doing that. Just her. My mum stuck up for me though. She said my aunt called her earlier today and told her I was being rude and selfish and boy did my mom give her an earful. She was so upset to hear what my mom had to say that she hung up on her. Go mom!! xD My mum is the best.
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:iconspiderrabbit:
SpiderRabbit Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012
YaY thast grait to hear :-D Your mom is AWESOME!! ^_^
<3
Hope you're feelin better! :-D
hey whats ur fb? do you add just anyone? (like adddd me?) :-3
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
I add just about anyone, as long as they don't look suspicious. I think my address is Facebook.com/Dana.vigil.wilson
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:iconspiderrabbit:
SpiderRabbit Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012
Sent ya a request! ^_^ My display name is: Lucia Spiderrabbit Estrada!
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Yay! I'll go accept right away! C:
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(1 Reply)
:iconsparklemoons:
SparkleMoons Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awwww, I'm sorry hun!! See, my position is the exact oposite. I have very dark brown hair and I hate it. I am also a Christian. When I told my Nana that I was thinking about dyeing part of my hair pink, she said "Why do you wan't to ruin your God givin hair?!?"I have not exactly told my parents yet that I want to start wearing lolita fashion. So I don't know how that feels, but I know how it feels to be rejected for what you wear. One time I was walking outside from lunch and I passed the table that this mean girl name Trysure(who is'nt really a teasure) was sitting at. I was wearing a graphic tee, shorts, converse, and knee high socks(i had a big bruise on my leg that I didn't want to show everyone). When I walked by, she called out "Fashion Police!" and everyone at the table laughed. And when I wanted to be a fashion designer, she said "You have to have a sence of style to be a Fashion Designer.". But, I'm getting into my problems. Oh God I'm rambleing. I'll get to the point. If your Aunt dosent care for your style or the colour of your hair, then she probably dosent know you that well and dosen't know that she is hurting your feelings with her beliefs. Stay strong! People here accept you the way you are!! :heart: Sending hugs!!
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
BUHH! Take me to this girl and I'll show her what it's like to be a freaking designer. I'm 23 with my own business. I SELL CUTE STUFF. WHAT DO YOU SELL? NOTHING? OH I GUESS SOMEONE HAS A BIG MOUTH. Hurumph!! You don't have to be a particular fashion to be a fashion designer. That field is for every fashion, either it be cute, glam, punk, goth, scene, hipster, whatever. You can do it because I did just that. It takes hard work of course, but you can do it! I may not be a big top seller, but that's not stopping me! As long as you do what you love, you're living your life well spent. I wish my aunt saw that. I wish I could tell her that. But she is too stubborn and it would just cause even more drama than it already has. Since I blocked her on facebook, she has gone through my mother, my husband and my cousin to try to get me to apologize. What a troll. I just want to be left alone... QnQ
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:iconsparklemoons:
SparkleMoons Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww, honey, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you! Sending more hugs!

(-^ ^)- -(^ ^-)
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
:tighthug::hug:
:iconsweethugplz::iconbrohugplz::iconmuahplz:
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:iconsparklemoons:
SparkleMoons Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:D No problem hun!! Just please get better soon!!!
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:iconlittlest-rusha:
Littlest-Rusha Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*hugs hugs hugs* Ooow, poor you! >< I feel bad for you! I'm christian too but i don't think your clothes or your hair color will change anything in God's opinion! You are free to be what you love to be! Be strong! :D
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much sweetie!! It's good to gear that. C:
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:icondemi-plum:
Demi-Plum Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind. Cliché, but I believe in this instance truth
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Yes, I agree. But now she's trying to convince my mother it's wrong and trying to get her to fix me. e___e
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:icondemi-plum:
Demi-Plum Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh now that's too far. You're a married adult, whatever you do is your damn decision and that's that!
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Oh, that's not the best part. She's gone through my husband and her son too. I don't have any idea what to do because I can't just ignore it anymore. I feel so alone..
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:icondemi-plum:
Demi-Plum Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No you can't ignore it. You shouldn't feel that way because your husband is with you. And your other family is right?

Just try to ignore her and not worry about it so much. If they can't love you for you then screw em! I hate it when some Christians really give us a bad name. We are not all like that after all >.>
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
I know, it flipping stinks. But yes, my husband is on my side. I mean, we have an apartment filled with anime and cartoon toys and posters... he married me because we both love the same things. And my mother gave my aunt an earful today on the phone while sticking up for me. I love my mom. She's the best. My dad could care less. He says as long as I'm happy, he's happy. And my brothers could care less too. They are all different and one of them has conflictions with his own sexuality, but we all still love him no matter what. So my immediate family is pretty cool when it comes to accepting me. My husband's family is very good about it too. His mother had a little problem with my hair color at first, but once she understood why I had it, she was okay with it. And the whole family is geeky. They all love comics, pokemon, digimon, etc. AND both his parents are pastors and the younger kids are part of the salvation army as well. I mean, how much cooler can they get? ^___^
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:icondemi-plum:
Demi-Plum Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It sounds like you have two awesome families! I must say I'm a bit jealous~! I do love mine of course. My Mother and I couldn't be closer ^w^
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:iconpolkadotzombie:
Polkadotzombie Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh nooo...
See, I'm Christian too, but I also believe that if you're not satisfied with what you have, you might as well change it, to be happy, cause that's the point of life. If you don't like your boobs or hair etc, just change it and say '#!@? you' to the people who are against it, because it's your life and your decisions. And I'm pretty sure that IF God made us like this, then he damn well think that that's the right way to go.
My family is not against me dressing like a 'cupcake' they're actually quite supportive of it (Hell, even my teachers are) so I can't really tell a solving to the problem yet, but for now, just ignore it and know that we here on DA, your watchers love you for who you are and what you do in life.
Also, :iconaawplz:
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
QuQ thank you so much! My mother is supportive of it and I'm so glad to have her on my side. But now my aunt is trying to convince my mother it's wrong. I wish she would just leave me alone...
Thank you for being supportive and for being here with me. TuT
I really need it...
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:iconsteffne:
steffne Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artist
I'm not a religious person, but I have had my fair share of hurtful comments about Lolita which I usually just brush off.
However the comments that have came from my own relatives have always been the ones that have stung me the worst.
My mother's mother and my aunt think it's a disgusting fetish,
dressing as a child to lure in perverted old men LOL.
You just have to continue doing what makes you happy though and block out the negativity.
I'm sure these people do love us in their own unique way but came from a time with closed minds and some rather warped views D:

Us loli's have to stick together :heart:
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Hhhnnggggg thank you so much, Steph. QuQ It hurts real bad. I do love her and I'm glad she cares for me... But I love the fashion and colors too much to just drop everything and become normal. My mother has been very supportive of me and I always show her the new "Shit Lolita's Say" and general information about the fashion. She even makes me skirts I can wear when I just want to be cutely casual. She's the best mom ever. But now my aunt is trying to convince her it's wrong... It makes me so sad. And I do agree! We gotta keep close and stick together!!!!! >u<
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:iconanna-le16:
Anna-Le16 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
aawwws :(
:huggle:
i know it can be already hard enough to get pressured from other lolita or people in society who are ignorant to the style
but from your own family that is quite tough
however this is your life that you have to lead and live everyday
so do what makes you happy
and know that your friends support you! :huggle:
there can be alot negativity that associates with being "different"
but here is some happiness [link]
*sends you lotsa hugs!* :hug:x10000
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
That made me cry, it spoke to me in such a loud voice... Thank you so much sweetie. I really needed it. :iconsweethugplz: you're do super sweet! QuQ
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:iconanna-le16:
Anna-Le16 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww:
:huggle:
i hope you feel better soon :hug:
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:icondedizenoflight:
dedizenoflight Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I dyed my hair the wildest shade of purple possible. I got all sorts of comments on how sad and lonely I must be and how I wasn't in God's natural image and all that bullshit.

don't let it get you done, sugarpuff. God loves you inside and out, and I'd bet you look amazing with yer pink and purple hair and lolita. :heart:
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. That meant so much to me. You're so sweet. You really made my day better. :tighthug:
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:icondedizenoflight:
dedizenoflight Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
awwww, I'm very glad! :heart: :hug:
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:icontoxyk-melodi:
Toxyk-Melodi Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know you that well...but i understand exactly where you're oming from.

I'm also Christian, but i also believe we aren't limited to what God gave us. So. You should just be yourself. Don't let your aunt get to you. I know, she's family, but so long as YOU enjoy what you're doing, and no one is dying because of it, then do what makes you happy <3

:hug:
Rock on. <3 And, may i suggest something? Saving up money and buy a wig you can use for work? You could keep your hair whatever color you like then. Just an idea.
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
I like that idea. I read your comment earlier, but had no time to respond. I got an ugly '70's wig for $2.00 that I am going to alter and wear to work. HNNGGG. I just hope I can make it cute and not super ugly. xD Thank you for your support. I very much do appreciate it. QuQ
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:icontoxyk-melodi:
Toxyk-Melodi Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, i hope it all works out <3
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:iconhoshizorakumo:
HoshizoraKumo Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Dana, if you anywhere near 23rd and Walnut in Boulder, you best get your butt over here, so I can hug the crap outta ya, because that's totally ridiculous. My parents give me all kinds of shit for wearing my lolita skirts in public, and now that I'm 21 I tell them to lay off, because it's my choice to convey my awesome in such fashion. LIVE IT LIKE YOU WANT!
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Ugugugu...
I wish. I live in Gunbarrel, and I'm in no shape to go driving. TTnTT Thank you for your uplifting words. We should get together soon and have a fun lolli day and have tea and cakes. That would be the best day ever. QUQ
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:iconhoshizorakumo:
HoshizoraKumo Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm moving tomorrow (aug. 8th) and the 10th I have a ball to attend for CAP but I'm free most of the time, you may as well message me on facebook! I don't get to wear my loli gear that often, but I'd love a tea and cake day!
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:iconchibiworks:
ChibiWorks Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
HNNGG!! Okay, we will definitely have to plan something. C:
I'm so excited. >w<
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